Two Ways To Stop Quitting On Your Equestrian GoalsJun 13, 2023
Quitting is the shortcut your brain wants you to take. And sometimes, in the short term, relief is enough of a reward to make you give up on your dreams. But quitting is the ultimate risk. It sets you back and eliminates the possibility of reaching your goals; and this can lead to long term regret. If you want to stop quitting on your equestrian goals, it helps to understand your human brain.
There isn’t a human brain out there that doesn’t prefer quitting to ongoing effort because of the Motivational Triad. We all have a primal need to survive; and human brains are wired at the most primitive level to do three things to help ensure that. They are:
1. Avoid Risk
2. Avoid Effort
3. Find Pleasure--or RELIEF NOW (aka: Dopamine)
If you’re an equestrian; you can think of loads of reasons why the primitive programming in your brain could potentially STOP you even though you have aspirational goals. Opening yourself up to public eyes in the show ring is definitely not comfortable if you have a strong "barf-o-meter" and self conscious tendencies. Trusting a 1200 lb living, thinking "thing" with your life as you crawl onto its back provokes anxiousness. Riding is HARD--have you ever compared your heart rate while riding to your heart rate in a spin class at the gym? It can even be confusing--take lessons in Dressage and then switch to Hunters and decipher your leg and seat positions! And don't even get me started on the human dynamics, boarding barn drama and veterinary issues that you might encounter. Oh, and time management? Finding understanding in your relationships? If you choose horses--you choose challenges.
Luckily, there is pleasure in connecting with horses. The relationships and feedback we get from their presence is enough to create an immediate and joyful addiction. But if it's long term success you dream about, you'll need to develop a sustainable approach that doesn't rely on willpower and stamina alone.
I'm offering 2 ways...and some extra support here today:
1. Make The Process The Point
Uncover the reasons why you want to pursue a goal. And make it personal.
Ask yourself this question: What growth will you experience if you stick with it?
You’ll see growth in the way you:
- meet obstacles head on
- show up for your relationships
- navigate hard stuff
- make confident decisions
- become more resilient, positive and satisfied
- develop self trust
And more than that--maybe most of all? The way you show up to ask for the help and support you desire might just be the best growth of all. In fact, I believe it's priceless.
If your equestrian goals change the trajectory of who you become in the rest of your life, is it worth it to stop yourself from quitting?
Do you take the time to notice your personal growth? What does the benefit of who you are becoming mean to you? What else does that change for the long term in your LIFE? How does pursuing this goal help you create a stable life in AND out of the saddle?
2. Do B- Work
Do you have had a history with doing things “right” or striving for perfection? Excellence is worth striving for but perfection is not. Learn how to show up fully AND imperfectly to create excellence. Perfection creates quitters. It generates exhaustion and burnout.
Make the Process the Point & Do B- Work. This will help you put your goals within reach. Quitting will be less of a necessity for your human brain.
When you decide that your journey to your goals is all about who you get to become on the way there, you get to experience self trust and see your entire SELF through the messy parts--INCLUDING confusion, embarrassment and big, sloppy fails. But something inside of you opens up. And when you're open, you can more easily overcome challenges.
Finally, I want to invite you to surround yourself with people who have a similar mission. When you're around people who really understand your journey, it's more fun to show up fully and a lot less intimidating.
Asking for help isn’t just something you CAN do--you DESERVE support through ALL of the challenges--not just when youI hit the goal; not just when you do it perfectly.
Pursuing a goal alone does NOT give you extra credit. It gives you extra stress and suffering.
You can join the free group Life Coaching For Equestrians on Facebook right now and I hope you do. I'll be there to welcome you!
Looking for a way to connect with other equestrians who are building confidence, resilience and crushing their goals in life AND at the barn? Come hang out with us.
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